January 2008
52 posts
“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.”
– Joe E. Lewis (via jennw) (via siddman) This reminds me of that joke about not trusting anything that can bleed for a week and not die (women). Ah, sexist jokes… -sigh-
Hey kid, what’s going on with the nausea? Quit it!
Baby showers should also be called kitty showers. My cats are loving their new boxes.
-sigh-
So one day this Asian guy is walking through a door, going the opposite way to me, and he holds it for me. So I open my mouth and I’m not sure if I’m trying to say “Cheers” or if I am trying to say “Thanks”. But it comes out “Chinks”. - Sigh - - TragicallyUnhip — travors
Fit Nation: The Obesity Fight →
Neat and not at all surprising map of fat America.
Wrong Number Generator Makes Dialing Exciting
If you really want to screw with someone, put this Wrong Number Generator on their landline. When your victim (wife) tries to make a call, it’ll screw up some digits and randomly dial someone. Better yet, it only does this 75% of the time, meaning that it’ll let them dial the right number 25% of the time—which allows them to think that they’ve got the sloppiest fingers in the...
Neighbors just banged a gong…… no seriously.
I wish someone out there delivered red bulls to my doorstep.
“What can I say as a dad? Before my first child, I had no clue about such things...”
– Thingamababy I do believe she will remain unconvinced. Just a guess, though.
Here’s a shock. Can’t sleep. Mind racing, comfort waning.
Found at mightygirl.com
Me: What do doggies say?
Trevor: Woof! Woof!
Me: What do horsies say?
Treveor: Wheeeen!
Me: What do duckies say?
Trevor: Whack! Whack!
Me: What do Trevors say?
Trevor: Please!
“In an amazing development, scientists at the University of Southern California...”
– Mad Science: Geneticists Discover a Way to Extend Lifespans to 800 Years So what they are saying is that Americans will never increase their lifespans to 800 years. Moooo!
“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian”
– Oh Snap!
“You shouldn’t buy me things. Save your money for unicorn rides or whatever...”
– www.thingsmyboyfriendsays.com Wasn’t expecting that…lol
“On the other message board that I participate with the women call it ECP - or...”
– Please Respond to this Crazy Question… I don’t think I want to respond to this crazy question…
“This was like being unexpectedly groped and publicly slipped the tongue by the...”
– Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations : World, Travel, Food, Wine
Poppyseed beardy moustachie →
You may file this under “too much time on your hands.”
DILLIGAF
Does it look like I give a fuck? Urban Dictionary I like it!
Not Ashamed to Love
Lucille 2: You're embarrassed to be with me!
GOB: No I'm not, I like being with you. I'm embarrassed to be seen with you.
Silly Piotr
Tchaikovsky loved to compose, but he hated to conduct, mainly because he was paralyzed with a fear that his head might fall off. Unfortunately, conducting opportunities came up way too often for him—including the gala opening concert of Carnegie Hall in 1891. Neurotic to the core, Tchaikovsky always conducted with one hand while using the other to keep a firm grip on his chin.
